Lydia. And Thoughts.

Baby girl is 3 months (and change) old. What?!?! I tried to put some shoes on her today and they were TOO SMALL. That was so sad to me for some reason. How could those tiny feet be too big for anything? She's still a little thing but is growing and "filling out" a little bit.

She is SUPER smiley (see above.) And she has dimples. It's absolutely the best. The second she looks at anyone she gets a big smile on her face. Logan said to me today "Lydia's the best because she smiles at me." **sigh** My favorite, minus when she's smiling at me of course, is when I look at her and she's just staring at the ceiling with that huge smile. I wonder exactly what it is she is seeing.  But of course, the second I pull out the camera it gets a lot harder to get that smile. Why is it that babies do that?

For the first two months, we were co-sleeping. Which was definitely NOT something that I've ever wanted to do. But when you're desperate for sleep you'll do anything, and that was the only way I'd get any sleep. She'd be asleep in our arms then wake up the second we put her down. This also meant no napping, unless she was in a moving swing which wasn't my favorite thing either. So her doctor told me I could let her cry it out. Not through the night obviously, she wasn't old enough for that, but if I knew she wasn't hungry, I could let her cry herself to sleep or back to sleep. It wasn't something I wanted to do, but again, sometimes we do things we don't want to when we're desperate. So I did it. It was SO HARD. I put her in the back room and turned music on so I couldn't hear her as well. The first few days she'd cry, no, scream, for over an hour. But she did eventually go to sleep. And it did eventually get better and crying times got shorter. And she now is a good sleeper! We often get 3 to 4 days out of the week with 3 to 4 hour naps. She's slept through the night a few times too! And even the nights she doesn't sleep through the night, she sleeps for about 6 hours, eats, then sleeps for another 3 or 4 usually. It is so much better! Who would've thought the doctor knew what she was talking about? ;)  (I'll never say that I miss sleeping with her in my arms every night when I slept, but every now and then I do lay down with her like that. Because although it didn't make for good sleeping, it did make for some good cuddle time.)

 

 

I am no longer nursing her. I haven't been for almost a month now. She started to get super fussy. At first her doctor thought it might be Acid Reflux so we gave her some medicine but i didn't seem to make much of a difference. Then she started to cry after every feeding and I was sure something was bothering her. So her doctor told me to change my diet; no dairy, no eggs, no chocolate, no peanut butter (as my friend said, my 4 food groups!) And honestly, it would've sucked, but I could have done the no chocolate and peanut butter thing. But no dairy? That is pretty much EVERYTHING I eat! Milk, eggs, cheese, sour cream.... And I hated the thought that if I made the mistake to eat something dairy it would cause her pain. So I switched her to formula. And I felt a little bad about it at first, and even missed it a little bit (honestly not a big fan of the nursing thing) because the soreness of nursing FINALLY went away that same week (Newman's Ointment is MAGIC, I tell you!), but she became such a happier baby. It was definitely the right thing to do. And not only that, but Jeremy gets up with her on Saturday nights, so I get a full night of sleep at least once a week. And I don't know how I do it, but on those nights my brain completely shuts off and I somehow don't hear her when she wakes up. I have to ask Jeremy in the morning when and how many times she woke up. Amazing stuff, I tell you!

 

She is a beautiful baby. I know I'm biased, but sometimes I look at her or a picture of her and see those eyes and that smile and those dimples and am just blown away by how pretty she is. (She obviously got those good looks by her daddy!) And more than that, blown away by the miracle of her. Of babies and how everything has to work JUST RIGHT for a baby to be created. After we had been trying to get pregnant for awhile and it just wasn't happening, I checked out a fertility book and the first part of the book talked about the process of becoming pregnant. And I couldn't help but be amazed at how MANY things had to happen at just the right time in just the right way in order for a baby to be conceived. It made me wonder how it EVER happens. And it also was a testament to me of the existence of our Heavenly Father. It doesn't happen by chance. They truly are miracles. I'm so grateful to be a mom to my babies. To join with my husband and Heavenly Father in the creation of something so beautiful and precious. I love being a mom. I love hearing Logan call Lydia sweetheart and listening to him try to soothe her when she's crying. I love it when Logan tells me that he loves me super super super super super super super a lot and that I can't love him more. I love holding my baby and seeing her smile up at me. There truly is nothing better. I have a whole lot to be thankful for with my little but perfect family. As my mom says, my cup runneth over.